Do Most People Fall In Love Immediately Or Over Time?


I really don’t believe people can fall in love immediately. Yes, it may feel that way but at that stage is not yet love. It’s chemistry. When meeting someone we consider physically attractive, our brain will instantly release oxytocin and cortisol.

Oxytocin is what scientists call a feel good induced hormone reaction. Cortisol, on the other hand, is a stress hormone. Equally important in making you feel like you’re on fire. Cortisol causes the blood vessels around the gut to constrict. And it feels a bit like butterflies. It is no different than what happens in the animal kingdom when they are in season. Of course, being a rational being comes with differences and implications.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with chemistry. It makes you feel alive and edgy and happy and it gives you that fantastic feeling of walking on clouds. And if you’re lucky to have that at the start of a relationship, that can only make things better in the future.

There is only one problem with chemistry. It has no substance. It can’t last. Like any other chemical reaction, it has a limited life span. Which is good, because living so high on Cortisol can give you a heart attack.

Now the time factor comes in and that’s where the real magic happens. In my opinion, of course. Chemistry allows you to see people at their best. Time allows you to see people at their worst. And that’s the only way you can tell whether or not you love that person.

New relationships at the chemistry level are fun and exciting, we feel special and on top of the world. Very hard to be anything but easy to love, when you are that happy. When life kicks in, when day to day challenges add up, you might not be at your best. Will the other person still be there when you are not at your best? Well, only time can tell. And when it does tell a story of support, patience and respect, than you can call it true love. No hormones required !!

Thoughts On Love

Syed Azam Ali Shah 


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